Bro DiMaggio, Bro Diddly, Broseph and the TechniBroler DreamBroat, LeBro James and Tom Brokaw rejoice: BroCon is coming to Broltimore.
The nation’s Bros are not yet aware that the term has become as pejorative as “hipster”: Sure, I’m a Bro but don’t call me one, Bro. Has anyone ever said, “There were tons of Bros there; it was awesome?” They sure aren’t saying that about hipsters. There are many sites built simply to deride hipsters; and there are T-shirts for chiding bros, too.
As such, at least four (!) people (and one maybe) will be attending BroCon, which is bringing the big gun to Bro-More: Brofessional lacrosse player Paul Rabil! He’s stoked to attend the May 3 event.
Located at Luckies FaBrolous Tavern, home of the $8 chicken basket, BroCon promises to be the most naively ironic event around. Put together by “GuyRilla Marketing,” which claims on its website that “Bros are trendsetters,” this is the place to meet people that actually read (and publish!) Maxim magazine as well as Inside Lacrosse. It is a bit odd the event is held in a bar: The target audiences for Broth magazines are Towson teenagers, aka the Brold and the Brotiful. They probably know a guy that can get them in, though.
Before you attend the event, here’s a Brofresher. Bro is more than a word used to describe Bros. It also stands for:
Build Relate Optimize.
You can sell anything these days, Bro. And if you enjoy BroCon, please thank organizer Brian Bauer, who is, I am not making this up, the Chief Operating Officer at BroCon. Shouldn’t that be Brian Bro-er or Brah-er?
Optimize, Brian! Bro hard or Bro home.