Partisan rancor, jerks biking, driving and walking, mayoral elections, and crime, oh so much crime. Enough! How about some stuff to be thankful for this Thursday. Here are some events that, though rare, can turn a bad day into a mediocre one.
1. You run like the wind through a Metro station as people stare, only to dip right through the doors as they close. A quick glance at the next train display shows the next train is 18 minutes away. Who looks stupid now?
2. You go out, have some drinks on the town. At the end of the night, you eat a jumbo slice. Miraculously, you aren’t sick the next day.
3. As you approach a speed camera, people tailgating you angrily zip around you only to trigger the camera, and assuredly receive a ticket in the mail days later.
4. You realize a rat feasted on the poisonous bait station outside your door last night. Make sure all your babies get a bite, Ricky Rodent.
5. You watch the Nationals get pummeled inning upon inning, then leave the stadium thinking that even $10 is too much to pay to watch this team. Amazingly, you’ve forgotten that it is firework Friday. Sadly, even fireworks aren’t enough to rescue your mood this time around.
6. You hear/see a train or bus pulling into the station/stop, yet can’t remember if you have money on your SmartTrip. You swipe the card to reveal: a 5-cent balance. Metro “loans” you X amount of dollars to make the trip at a 0 percent interest rate.
7. After checking the usual haunts for a parking space, you circle the block repeatedly only to reveal a beautiful, roomy spot, right in front of your door.
8. On a hot day, somehow it DOESN’T smell like rotting garbage outside.
9. On a hot day, somehow it DOESN’T occasionally smell like raw sewage outside.
10. You get to the liquor store at 10:01 on a Friday night…and they are still open. One 12-pack of Busch, please.
11. You go to dccranktank.com and there is an awesome new post up.
To be continued…