Silver Spring exports its violent Chuck Brown concert to D.C.n


Would you let this man anywhere near a chain shopping center? Me neither. From Wikipedia.

Would you let this man anywhere near a chain shopping center? Me neither. From Wikipedia.

Silver Spring needs to protect itself from go-go playing terrorist attack. Thus, Chuck Brown will play in D.C. on Friday in a simulcast (93.9) album release party rather than stain the reputation of a block that boasts the indelible McGinty’s and roughly 1,400 emo kids.

Brown, the Godfather of go-go, who mercilessly entertained elementary students in The Washington Post Magazine’s stunning exposé last year, was scheduled to play an album release party on Ellsworth Drive in Downtown Silver Spring. The event was canceled for no real reason.

Jennifer Nettles of the Peterson Cos., which manages Silver Spring’s fountain district with an iron fist, goes on about possible reasons the event was canceled to TBD:

Some events get cancelled, some get rescheduled, some get moved around, some get rained out — all kinds of things come into play when planning this many events. I always remind people that we are a ‘downtown shopping destination’ and that it is not common for management of lifestyle centers to plan this quantity of events, so unfortunately sometimes there are changes.

Except, like, none of these things happened. If they did, you would be saying that was the reason the show was canceled, rather than random hypothetical situations. Yeah, it could have gotten rained out except we are in a drought and it hasn’t rained for days.

Instead, someone in Silver Bling didn’t do their research, confusing Chuck Brown with music that young people listen to. They play his stuff at Nationals games, they play it on WHUR! If I put Chuck Brown on, my father will not even find it objectionable. It is family music. The man is 74 years old. Little kids could frolic in the fountain as their parents feel like “Bustin’ Loose” a few twenties at Borders and Chipotle. Isn’t that what these developers want when they produce those computer-generated images of what Suburban Town Center should look like?

Alas, that image will not come to fruition. Brown will now play near the Federal Triangle Metro stop at 1300 Pennsylvania Avenue NW in D.C. on Friday at 5 p.m. Near the White House, many important museums and government buildings. The barons of Silver Spring have exported their dangerous old-time funk to the Capital of the free world! Something must be done.

I will not cease my campaign until Chuck Brown is playing in Geneva. Only there will the DMV be safe from such raucous dance music.

No, but seriously, see you on Friday. It’s free, too.

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